Axiom: There Exists a Reality Beyond Myself

I can entertain the possibility that I am all that exists and that everything else that seems to exist is a figment of my vivid imagination. It seems arrogant, but only if it's untrue.

It seems unlikely, but not inconceivable.

Axiom: I exist.

Consider Rene Descartes's 1637 Discourse on the Method part 4, paragraph 1:

Accordingly, seeing that our senses sometimes deceive us, I was willing to suppose that there existed nothing really such as they presented to us; And because some men err in reasoning, and fall into Paralogisms, even on the simplest matters of Geometry, I, convinced that I was as open to error as any other, rejected as false all the reasonings I had hitherto taken for Demonstrations; And finally, when I considered that the very same thoughts (presentations) which we experience when awake may also be experienced when we are asleep, while there is at that time not one of them true, I supposed that all the objects (presentations) that had ever entered into my mind when awake, had in them no more truth than the illusions of my dreams. But immediately upon this I observed that, whilst I thus wished to think that all was false, it was absolutely necessary that I, who thus thought, should be something; And as I observed that this truth, I think, therefore I am, was so certain and of such evidence that no ground of doubt, however extravagant, could be alleged by the Sceptics capable of shaking it, I concluded that I might, without scruple, accept it as the first principle of the philosophy of which I was in search.

So of course, this isn't new. I doubt any of what I think on this matter goes beyond Rene Descartes ("I think therefore I am") or is even innovative, and if it does happen to be innovative, I assure you that I am completely unaware of it.

I assert that I exist. If I do not exist, if is of little consequence what I do, so whatever does exist will no doubt forgive me for assuming the position that I do.

Imagine You're Caesar

How can you control a vast and diverse empire? Too many people just refuse to believe your god, because they already have a set of gods that makes more sense to them. What's more, all these religious differences are a real problem when it comes to stability within the empire. We could occupy every town, but that takes a lot of troops and way too much money. How can you turn this negative into a positive?

People really like their gods and they're not going to want to change, but what if they could all be brought under one umbrella? That would help tremendously. You could just co-opt their pantheons by calling them "angels" subordinate to a greater, more powerful ruling god. You could co-opt their seasonal festivals too.

What if some of them won't go along with it? Just kill them; the others will learn to keep quiet. Promise them unimaginable rewards after death if they'll just suffer quietly in life. They'll never know any better. Promise them that their enemies, clearly the servants of evil, will likewise be punished severely by the infinitely wise and just king of the gods. That will quell some of their anger.

Make sure all the clergy are on the same page; we wouldn't want them to suspect anything. If *they* don't comply, kill them too.

While you're at it, institute a flat tax of 10%, and make sure they understand that their eternal salvation is contingent upon honestly making their payments. God is always watching! He knows what you're thinking!

It's the solution to all your problems! It's so good, thousands of years from now people will *still* believe it!

Rachel Doleval

I'm not defending her. It's insulting what she did, and irresponsible.

There is a double standard here. I'm not saying there shouldn't be. In fact, I'm arguing that it's right and moral that there should be.

Should a black person pass as white? Ideally, no, but not because it's insulting to white people (although it could be to black people) to allow people access to whiteness. A black person passing as white is buying into the idea that blackness is akin to disability, that it's something to be overcome. A black person passing as white is silently acknowledging that blackness is, at least in practice, a disadvantage. That acknowledgement does not imply that the disadvantage of blackness is right or just; rather that it is wrong and unjust, that in some cases to achieve justice it becomes necessary to hide the target indelibly painted on one's skin.

Such action is forgivable because it's true that blackness is disadvantageous in a disproportionate number of contexts. We can therefore see the humanity of a person who (sadly) feels the need to disassociate from their blackness and pass as white. However, when we reverse the roles such that a white person chooses to disassociate from whiteness and put on a semblance of blackness in some context in which doing so is advantageous, our sensibilities are necessarily insulted. This is true for the simple reason that the such contexts are disproportionately scarce, so a white person who truly respects the disadvantages of blackness, however unjust they may be, could not in good conscience occupy that "slot" because they know it is scarce.

This double standard must exist as a reaction to the greater, opposite, and unjust double standard that also exists. In a perfect world neither would exist, but the only way to move toward that perfection is to keep the former until the latter fades into history.

Thinking about touchscreen gestures

I'm thinking of a gesture on a touchscreen where you're scrolling down on a Web page and you can go in a little circle to shift gears and get more speed. It would more precise than flicking but less so than 1st gear. Another one is the pull down at the top of a Web page to refresh. Pull up at the bottom would work too, or even pull right at left side.

Knowledge of Good and Evil

My argument is that we should reject the belief that Man can discern good from evil, at least in others. We can't even fathom the complex interactions of good and evil within ourselves, much less anybody else.

I knew at 37 years old that I was a good person because I could feel the love I had for my wife and my precious children. The last thing I would want was to become enraged and hurt my kids. But I didn't have a dad in my life and I didn't know how to be a dad. I didn't know how to deal with the frustration, and I certainly did not know how to deal with anger. I was never an angry kid! Yet I could look back and see the many signs, plain as day, that I ignored along the way, telling me that I had an anger problem, years before I even had any kids. Sure my dad wasn't there but I wasn't physically abused. I was evil. What else could explain how I allowed myself to hurt my precious children...so many times.

So I'd heard the denouncement of "judging" others throughout my life, and at that time even not being a Christian I agreed with it. I loved my mom and my dad even though they weren't perfect. I still loved my wife and my kids even though they weren't perfect and my wife left me. I could make excuses for them just as I could make excuses for myself. I certainly didn't see them as evil. The only good and evil I truly "knew" was the forces I perceived juxtaposed within myself. I ignored that evil over and over until it had such a hold on me that I couldn't ignore it anymore, until I realized that I am the enemy. Then naturally I want nothing more than my own destruction, to escape the "eternal" (at least, intolerably long) suffering.

But then in that darkness, there was a light. I loved my wife. I loved my kids. I knew they needed me. I wanted my wife and my kids to forgive me and come back to me and I would say of one stepdaughter that hate is a burden that she needs to let go. I was both good and evil, but I could change and I deserved forgiveness so of whom else was that true? Was it true of everybody?

I had already started thinking about God in a different way thanks to this book called Thank God for Evolution. Then just by dumb luck I found myself at the Wenatchee Lighthouse listening to this wacko talk about faith healing and crazy shit, but he also spoke of Grace. I continued to listen and learn more about Grace, and before long he (and the few examples of "Good Christians" I had seen over the years) were standing around me as I asked Jesus into my life. Having been so depraved as to scare myself into questioning my most basic assumptions, I realized that God had worked His Grace in my life.

In my enthusiasm I was quick to accept a lot of doctrine at face value, but I've backed off quite a bit from most of that since then. I became a Christian only later to largely reject that label without disclaimers because I feel it's been twisted into something demonic (so to speak) and ugly and not about Grace at all. I still think there is a truer meaning of the word that I can embrace, but I need the disclaimer so people know what I mean when I call myself that. I prefer to call myself a "Jesus Enthusiast" because I can say that without any disclaimer.

At 42 I believe there are those who embrace life through trust, forgiveness, and at least aspire to Jesus-like unconditional love, and there are those who embrace destruction. But we all need grace. We are all depraved, and we are all unworthy, but redemption is available to all. We need forgiveness extended to us, and by the Golden Rule we all need to extend it even to our enemy. Thank God. We all embody good and evil in our own way. Some are more deceived than others, but there are no good people, and there are no bad people. There are just people.

Load XslCompiledTransform different ways

static XslCompiledTransform LoadXslt(string source)
{
    XslCompiledTransform XmlOutputTransform = null;
    if (source.StartsWith("@"))
    {
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        {
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                source.Substring(1)
            );
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            XmlOutputTransform.Load(a.GetTypes()[0]);
        }
        else if (source.Contains(".dll@"))
        {
            // precompiled transform, specified type
            string[] split = source.Substring(1).Split(
                "@".ToCharArray()
            );
            Assembly a = Assembly.LoadFile(split[0]);
            XmlOutputTransform = new XslCompiledTransform();
            XmlOutputTransform.Load(a.GetType(split[1]));
        }
        else
        {
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            XmlOutputTransform.Load(source.Substring(1));
        }
    }
    else
    {
        // presume source contains raw Xml;
        XmlOutputTransform = new XslCompiledTransform();
        XmlOutputTransform.Load(XmlReader.Create(
            new MemoryStream(
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            )
        );
    }
    return XmlOutputTransform;
}